My straight shiny hair +++++ v1.0 ||POISON||

I shout out, "Happy Birthday".

2009-05-17T17:38:00.000+09:00

I feel really bad
that I can't say it right.
I worried over it for a while
but I eventually gave up and fell asleep.
The air in this town on the weekend
is heavy with the crowd.
When I let out a deep sigh
the external speaker overrode it.
Even when I try to say it well
there never was anything to be communicated.
In this busy town
I look toward the sky.
and to that person who was so kind to me.
I shout out, "happy birthday."
A slight trouble got us lost
amongst the crowd.
And I started laughing
at people's stupid jokes.
I still don't know what to say
if I were to meet you
randomly somewhere in this town.
What's the meaning behind the tears
that I shed in this gradually crumbling world?
In this busy town
I look toward the sky
and to that person in a distant town.
I shout out, "happy birthday."

subtitle lang.. hindi ko din alam yung title ng Japanese song na to na nagpa-play sa background nung pinapanood kong episode sa Honey and Clover 2..
aun.. basta gusto ko ung lyrics kaya ko pinost dito.. :) I love it..

an untitled poem

2009-03-30T10:57:00.001+09:00

untitled~
by Ruth Camille Bascuguin

Should I be thankful for the life bestowed
To me that death would certainly retrieve?
This life that’s fate to pass and then to leave
Is final. How could I end up this road
If life’s own source of death will thus explode
The end that Hades brings is what I grieve
If I could have been born from start naïve,
Then I would not be worried by my ode.

To the Almighty, I do owe this life
So many people he could have impart
But still t’was me He chose to breathe quite fast
In this existence, must contend the strife,
Unfold the past and urge today the start
For man’s existence too long never last

~I made this before as a requirement. I just felt like posting this so that my blog will have something new in it. hihi!
~Petrarchan sonnet; iambic pentameter

What mental disorder do you have?

2009-03-17T21:48:00.000+09:00

try lang. wahaha kakagulat ung result.

What mental disorder do you have? Your Result: ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) You have a very hard time focusing, and you find it difficult to stay on task without your mind wandering. You probably zone in and out of conversations and tend to miss out on directions because you cannot focus
Manic Depressive
Paranoia
GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)
OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
What mental disorder do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

A Responsible Girl, a Responsible Boy

2009-02-13T23:27:00.003+09:00

to all the lovers out there! Happy Valentine's Day!

I AM A RESPONSIBLE GIRL

My kisses are worth more than a party or a movie.
My body is the temple of God - not a plaything.
The first "NO" may be difficult - after that it's easy.
Virginity is still a virtue; lust is still a capital sin.
The way I dress, act and speak may be a temptation
to my boyfriend. I will observe modesty
for his and my own protection.
My parents have done so much for me.
I wish always to be a credit to them.
My boyfriend will be a husband and a father someday.
He must be a hero in the eyes of his wife and children.
I will do nothing to prevent that on my dates with him.
I want to be a wife and a mother. I will reserve my purity
and affection for my husband and children.
If through my weakness, I should get pregnant,
I will not take the "easy way out" by killing my unborn child.

I AM A RESPONSIBLE BOY

The parents of my girlfriend place their trust in me.
I will not violate it.
I will respect my girlfriend as I expect other
men to respect my sister.
I will respect womanhood because my mother is a woman.
I will ask my girlfriend to do nothing that
I would be ashamed of if my mother found out.
My girlfriend has given me the honor and pleasure
of her company. It is wrong for me to expect
more in payment for this date.
My girlfriend will be a wife and mother someday.
She must be an example for her children
and the pride of her husband.
I will help her to be as pure and decent
as I want my own wife to be.
Manhood means strength of character as well as body.
Lack of self-control is a sign of weakness.
I want my girlfriend to know I am manly.
God is everywhere, sees everything, knows everything.
Darkness may hide me from people
but it cannot hide me from God.
If through my lack of self-control,
I should get a girl pregnant,
I will not put pressure on her to kill our unborn child.

~~ I really like these prayers or oaths, or whatsoever. I took this from a calendar in my siblings' room. haha.. I was going to get my weight that time by standing on top of the weighing scale (obviously), but I failed. Rather than doing that, I looked at the calendar and then there I was, tearing the sheet of paper where these prayers were written.

I hope everyone will understand and DO what these prayers wanted to say. =D

~these prayers came from this parish's calendar:
Our Lady of the Most Blessed Sacrament Parish. (Kalayaan Village, Brgy. 201, Pasay City) wow. haha.
Their websites are: olmbsp@yahoo.com and www.olmbsp.multiply.com

I'm so sorry if I was the reason...

2008-11-28T21:46:00.000+09:00

I'm so sorry if I'm one of the very reasons for your... I still can't accept this fact.
The truth is that I don't feel anything for him. For me he's just a very close friend, nothing more than that. That's the reason why I really can't understand my situation.

I know you hate me, but I don't know why I can't be mad at you. Maybe it's because I understand your situation. I think I will also feel and think that way if I were you. But if you just tried to hear me out, maybe you won't feel that way to me.

Honestly, I'm so sad because of what happened to both of you. If you only knew that I used to pray for your relationship to last forever, because I can't help seeing him so down and depressed. Let me say this: I'm a big fan of your relationship before.

Again, I'm really sorry. I hope your ill-feelings for me will soon vanish. T__T

I believe that I didn't do anything bad. I don't have anything to be guilty about.

to him: I just wanted to state my feelings. I hope you understand (I know you would). Thanks for being a very supportive friend of mine.

to "you": Remember the time when we were having an open forum? I said, "Hindi ako nagkakagusto sa may-boyfriend na." I really mean what I said, and up to now I still mean it.

Thanks for the friendship.

Warning: Don't approve comments automatically in Friendster!

2008-11-24T20:32:00.004+09:00

Preview of how the message actually looks like:
click me!
A screenshot of holidaygifts.fileave.com:
click me!

This is a big warning to all of us who uses Friendster. You might never see your profile or comments anymore if you accidentally approve this kind of comment or testimonial.

As you can see in the first picture, there is a "script" kind of html code written below the message. If your Friendster account automatically approves comments, you better change your settings now or you'll be surprised. If you will ask me, my Friendster doesn't automatically approve. But why did this happen? Hmm. It's all because I'm so much in a hurry to go to school. I was already late! HAHAHA! I just scanned the comment I received (I don't even have to read it seriously because she's just a schoolmate of mine from ParSci).

The first thing I did was to do necessary changes in my site just to fix the mess. I even changed my url! argh. (I better change it again) I even tried to stop "my comments" from fully
loading all of its contents before it will get redirected to that damn site again. I did that so I could delete that damn comment. But when I clicked on the "delete"- POOF! It returned to
holidaygifts.fileave.com again!

Waah. In cases like this, the next thing I thought to be the best solution is to contact Friendster. I even sent an e-mail to help@friendster.com for this problem. Guess what they did? They just sent me links to these "FAQs" like:

1. What types of photos can I upload to my profile? (Does this have any connection with my problem?!)
2. What are Testimonials and Comments. (I'm not illiterate!)
3. Security: Check Login Pages Carefully. (Give me a connection, please!!!)

In other words, they didn't do anything. They didn't even try to open my account and delete it.

When I finally arrived home after school, I checked my e-mail. I received this message from the one who sent it to me. She wrote there this message:
"easier way:
guys..may mas easier way pla pra maaus fs profyl nio..iSAFE mode nio muna daw dun sa SETTINGS..tpos idelete nio na ung comment..den un...ok na daw..heh pag ayaw yan..eto ung mjo mtagal na way: guys.. sori tlga sa mga nadamay nung hacker ng frendster ko..pare
pareho taung victims.kabadtrip pero alam ko na panu madelete ung comment na galing dun sa olod fs account ko...ung comment na di ako gumawa "romantic love sumting". kelangan madelete un. so here's how go to this site http://noscript.net/getit. den click nio ung "add
to firefox" den install na un.. ok nio ung nakalagay na "restart firefox" den magautomatic magoopen ulit firefox.. den maglog in na kau sa frendster account nio. dapat maclick nio muna ung "temporarily allow friendster.com" sa lower part ng window".. den idelete nio na ung comment na galing sa old fs ko "romantic love lang" once naopen nio na profyl nio tapos.if u lyk, u can uninstall na ung dinownload kanina. aion.hope maaus **if di nio magawa.pm me. i'l do it 4 u.pero i nid to know ur email add and pass.baguhin nio na lang after."

She said the first thing you should do is to change your settings to Safe Mode. After that you can now delete the comment. If that won't work, just do the other alternative (I won't
summarize it anymore because it's too long!).
Thanks to her I was finally able to delete the damn comment and fix my profile. I just hope that hacker will burn in hell. He/she is so nuts to think that what she did is funny. BALIW SIYA.

Now, I've learned something today ~ "If you're late, don't use Friendster." or "Safe Mode is the best medicine." or "Tanga ako, hindi ko alam may safe mode pala sa Friendster."
juk.
This is it... Don't always do things in a hurry, because it might lead to faults you might not be able to fix or change anymore.

Survey from Takube. Na-miss ko mga BB na ganito.

2008-10-25T12:37:00.000+09:00

LETTER 'A'
1. Are you Available?
* I don't know. hahahahaa!
2. What is your Age?
* 18. eighteen. 1 + 8 = 18. XD
LETTER 'B' --(no # 3?)
4. Do you live in a Big house?
* I'm not sure.
5. When is your Birthday?
* 07/18/2718. ayos
THE LETTER 'C'
6. What's your favorite Chocolate?
* Snickers. ayos. walang melamine yan, don't worry.
THE LETTER 'D'
7. Do you Daydream?
* yup. all of us do that, right?
8. What's your favorite kind of Dog?
* German shepherd.
9. What Day of the week is it?
* satur-araw.
THE LETTER 'E'
10. Have you ever been in the Emergency
room?
* nope.
11. Did you have a crush that starts w/
letter M?
* yup. Emerson. Emil.
(joke, I never had a crush with those names)
.
THE LETTER 'F'
12. Favorite Flower?
* sunflower. ewan.
.
THE LETTER 'G'
13. Do you chew Gum?
* yah.
14. Are you a Giver or a taker?
* giver.
.
THE LETTER 'H'
15. What's your Height?
* 5'4" 1/2
16. What color is your Hair?
* shiny black.
.
THE LETTER 'I'
17. What's your favorite flavor of Ice cream?
* Rocky road! I love the nuts!!!
18. Have you ever Ice skated?
* yup. when I was still a HS student.
19. Do you play an Instrument?
* yeah. piano. guitar.
.
THE LETTER 'J'
20. Have you ever heard a really hilarious Joke?
* a lot of times.
21. Do you wear Jewelry?
* yah.
.
THE LETTER 'K'
22. Do you want Kids?
* kinda.
23. Where did you have Kindergarten?
* sacred heart school merville
THE LETTER 'L'
24. Have you ever Lied to your parents?
* absolutely yes.
THE LETTER 'M'
25. Last Movie you watched?
* I am Legend.
26. Do you still watch disney Movies?
* yeah.
27. Do you like Mangoes?
* yup.
THE LETTER 'N'
28. What is/are your Nicknames?
* Miles, ellimac, subrosa, tesmon
29. What's your favorite number?
* 18. bday.
30. Do you prefer Night over day?
* night coz I'm a vampire.
THE LETTER 'O'
31. Whats your One wish?
* I wanna be a CPA.
THE LETTER 'P'
32. What is the fear you are most paranoid about?
* low grades.
THE LETTER 'Q'
33. Are you Quick (to) judge people?
* no.
.
THE LETTER 'R'
34. Do you watch Reality tv?
* yah yah
.
THE LETTER 'S'
35. Do you prefer sun or rain?
* none. The sun is too big. Rain is too popular. we won't fit. hahahaha! XD
36. Do you like Snow?
* yah. (I could make lots of cold drinks! awee!)
THE LETTER 'T'
37. What Time is it?
* it's summertime! (taeng High School Musical yan.)
38. What time did you wake up?
* ten ante meridiem.
.
THE LETTER 'V'
39. Whats the worst veggie?
* none. I love vegetables.
40. Where do you want to go on Vacation?
* any cold place.
.
THE LETTER 'W'
41. Will you go back to the past?
* nope. I wanna be in the future so that I will be able to buy a DORAEMON!
THE LETTER 'X'
42. Have you ever had an X-ray?
* yah. X-ray vision.
43. Do you own a xylophone?
* yah.
.
THE LETTER 'Y'
44. Do you like the color yellow?
* yep, before when Power Rangers is still very popular. I am YELLOW RANGER! awoo!
.
THE LETTER 'Z'
45. Whats your Zodiac sign?
* Cancer. (ung crab ah, hindi ung tumor.)

Reasons why I love and hate this day...

2008-09-05T22:31:00.001+09:00

September 5, 2008. Friday. - A day I never expected to be so memorable.

It would be better if I will post first the reasons why I love this day, right?
ok, here it goes...

1st reason: I got a grade of 2 in my FINACC1 course! (in our school, 4 is the highest while 1 is the lowest) It was

really unbelievable! Why? Ok, let me explain.
My grade in my midterms for FINACC1 before was only 1. (as in UNO).

And the sad thing about it, it was only a "mercy grade", meaning it should be lower like "Repeat". T__T
Having that grade made me realize that I should really focus on my studies (mamaya na ang Ragnarok!). I did all the techniques my sister told me that I could use to please Mrs. Lantin. Good thing all of them worked! Yahoo!
From 1 to 2, that's already unbelievable for us (if you just know our policy in that course).

2nd reason: I had my first experience to play Dance Revolution in public at Timezone! Yey! Thanks to Eruvin-kun (my twin). =D
That's not just what we played. We also played basketball and racing. I won against him in basketball, but in dance

revo and racing, I lost! Haay. Poor me.

3rd reason: At last, Eruvin-kun and I were now able to play High Street 5 again after 3 days of waiting. It is his

broadband connection's (Smart Bro) fault why it lasted for 3 days.

Enough of the positives. Now, I will share with you my reasons why I hate this day...

1st reason: I finally had the chance to tell Julius my hard feelings for him. I think this should be part of "the

reasons why I love this day", but I think it should not because it had been too much. I told him so many things that I think I should have not told him. But what can I do? It's not right to keep it to myself, right? He should know all about it. He should know that he hurt me.
I hope he's not mad at me. *sighs* I'm so sorry Julius... It was just a sudden burst of emotions that I was not able to control... =(

2nd reason: There is no place in Mall of Asia that could give me a top up card for High Street 5!
Tae.
I just wasted my time searching. Good thing someone gave me a good news. Joleen (a good friend of mine) told me that there is a loading outlet in Netopia in SM Bicutan. yahoo! It's just a one jeepney away. =D

All in all, I think this day had been very special. Being able to tell my true feelings, to experience a new game, and to get a good grade are all very memorable gifts of God for me.

Desperate? Nah...

2008-06-01T15:18:00.004+09:00

I keep on telling myself that I don't have plans of having someone to be my boyfriend. That it is just a waste of time and money. I'd rather think of my studies, right? And I'd rather buy the things I want than to use my money to buy him gifts. Having a special someone will also just add up in my daily responsibilities. Hey, I don't want additional responsibilities!

But why do I experience this feeling - a feeling of wanting a company of someone who will always be there for me. Someone who will always be ready to listen to my not-so-problematic problems and silly jokes. Someone who can erase all my worries just by smiling at me, and listening to me. Someone who can make me feel special and beautiful, even though I'm really not. Someone who could accept the real me - not wanting me to change to what he wants.

Every night, I ask God why do I feel like this. Am I really desperate? No, I'm not desperate! I know God knows that I just want someone to lean on. I wanna be loved.. [aww] I know you think that I got lots of friends, but some friends are not always there for me. They also have their own responsibilities and worries,and I don't want to add mine to theirs. Just like my sister, she's my best friend. But I know I can't tell her all of my worries, because she also has her own worries. And to tell you, she has a boyfriend.

so now, this is what I always tell to myself just to make me feel better: You are still young. Just wait for him to come. Don't hurry yourself. It's the best thing you can do. God is always here, so don't worry if you feel alone. My family and friends are also so near, so you shouldn't feel deserted! You're special in different angles to different people, you shouldn't feel unwanted. And always keep this in mind, somebody loves you, so don't ever feel nobody loves you.

A Fool Again

2008-05-03T10:54:00.002+09:00

What if the one you like tells you he likes you, and knowing that you also like him, should you tell him your feeling right after he said it?

Someone told me that if a guy tells you he likes you, you should not tell him you like him, too. Because if you do, he might lose the urge to please you. Then he will just take you for granted. Why? Because he already knows you like him! So what's the point of getting closer, right? And another worse thing is, he might even think you are easy to get! awch.

I don't know those "almost true" opinions, so maybe that's the reason why I was [or should I also use "am"?] fooled - fooled twice.

For now, I don't wanna explain this further, and I don't wanna tell the whole story yet... katamad eh!

Ok, I've made up my mind. I will never again tell someone that I like him, because I'm now 100% sure that I would just get hurt.
If someone tells me again that he likes me, I would now say, "Oh, thank you.. Have you eaten already?"

No more infatuations! Period.

P.S.: That 100% is not yet verified to be final. If you want, you can give me some reasons why I should decrease that percentage. Thank you. =D

This is what I wanna tell You...

2008-04-30T17:53:00.003+09:00

Cassie - Is it You?

I'm looking for a lover not a friend
Somebody who can be there when I need someone to talk to
I'm looking for someone who won't pretend
Somebody not afraid to say the way they feel about you

And I'm looking for someone who understands how I feel,
Someone who can keep me real and who knows (the way)
The way I like to have it my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there,
Wants to share, shows he cares
Thinking you're the one that I've been waiting for

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me? (Could you be?)
Could you be the one I need?

I'm looking for someone to share my pain (Uh)
Someone who I can run to, who would stay with me when it rains
Someone who I can cry with through the night
Someone who I can trust whose heart is right
And I'm looking for someone

And I'm looking for someone who understands how I feel,
Someone who can keep me real and who knows (the way)
The way I like to have it my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there,
Wants to share, shows he cares
Thinking on the one that I've been waiting for

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be this one I need?

Someone who won't take me for granted
How much I care (How much I care)
And appreciates that I'm there
Someone who listens
And someone I can call who isn't afraid of love to share

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

Night life

2007-12-28T21:50:00.000+09:00

December 25, 2007 ~ ~ not the right time to be holy.

Bwahaha I really loved that day, not mainly because my wallet overflowed with money ~ it's because I've experienced at that time my first time to go into NIGHT LIFE.
yeah, boi! I LOVE it!

Everything was perfect, including:

~ me [bwahaha!];
~ my gal cousins and sis;
~ the yummy boys staring at us while we walk;
~ the colorful bars inviting us to try them out;
~ and, ewan ko na...

My Christmas went this way ~
I, with my cousins and sister, left my lola's house after our fun-filled Family Christmas party. It was around 8:00 PM, I think... [gabi na pero lalakwatsa pa] Unfortunately, we were not able to go immediately because something wrong happened to the van we're going to use. So, from 8 PM, naging 9:30 PM!!! kumusta naman un db?! [tama b ung 9:30? ndi q n mtandaan eh]

After a few hours of driving, and a few minutes [or hours?] of strolling [we can't decide where to go!], we ended up going into a comedy bar named The Comedy. Ate Lora said it's the best comedy bar in Malate so we tried it. Good thing Ate Lora knows a lot about bars and stuff. If not, we might have wasted
a lot of time just looking for the best bar! I really had fun there, especially because of:
~ the funny [gay] comedians and comedienne [the best in singing, talo pa mga nananalo sa singing contests ng ABS-CBN at GMA! nyahaha!];
~ the Raging Divas! [the best impersonators of the Philippines! haha! My favorite is Lowla];
~ and the food! yummy talaga, kahit mahal. w00t!

aun... 3:00 AM na kami nakauwi.. dami ko na sigurong Varicose veins dahil sa sobrang pagod?!..
hmm...

Realizing that I was in Malate, Manila made me feel that I'm now a REAL college student.
I know, college life will not be complete if one will not experience the nightlife ~
It's when you'll realize that you're mature enough in handling yourself, especially in places like that where temptations are everywhere...

YM EMOTICON FOR THE DAY: At wits end ~X( ~bcoz of someone
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: the sound of the electric fan beside me. :-|

Quizzes I've Taken

2007-09-07T17:52:00.000+09:00

What Is Your Role In A Relationship? (Male and Female, detailed results with Anime Pics!)

You are Submissive

You are one of those people who is prepared to just sit in the background of things, listening but not participating. Often people know your face but not your name, which is a shame because you have a lot of love and devotion to give.

You struggle with relationships sometimes because you don't always know how to be around people. Though you may be academically incredibly intelligent, you have trouble thinking for yourself. You need someone to tell you exactly what they want, as hints and subtleties tend to go straight over your head.

When you find the one for you, you are entirely dedicated to them. You put them on a pedestal and worship them from afar, often not acting on your feelings. If you are lucky enough to have someone come over and tell you that they want to be with you, then you are likely to stay with them forever.

Most compatible with: The Controlling

The Controlling love to boss people around, and would make it painfully clear what they want you to do. They like having someone to click their fingers at, so you are a match made in heaven. They aren't going to give you subtle hints that you will miss, they will just tell you exactly what they want, when they want it, and how. They will never elevate you from you position in the shadows (which suits you just fine!) instead using you to elevate themselves. Some people wouldn't stand for this but as you want nothing more than to see your partner happy, you will be perfectly content with this lot.

Least compatible with: The Hopeless Romantic

Much like you, the Hopeless Romantic wants to worship someone, but whereas you like giving all that attention, you certainly don't like receiving it. You aren't comfortable with being in the spotlight, and the Romantic won't just let you sit in their shadow where you like to be.

Your song is: Eric's Song, 12 Stones

Take this quiz!

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NOTE: uhm.. feel ko hindi totoo yung "They will never elevate you from your position in the shadows (which suits you just fine!) instead using you to elevate themselves. Some people wouldn't stand for this but as you want nothing more than to see your partner happy, you will be perfectly content with this lot" para sa akin!!!
Haller, ndi pede yang ganyan sakin, one-sided love?! ASANESS! mag-break na lang tau kung ganun.

Which Gensomaden Saiyuki Character are You?

"Which traveller are you??">

The Friends or More-Than-Friends Quiz
Sometimes a friend is just a friend, and sometimes there's the possibility for a friend to become something more. How do you know when the line is safe to be (or in danger of being) crossed? Tell us the story, and we'll tell you what we think.

ANSWER:
We're as confused as you are.

Yeah -- shockingly, this personality quiz doesn't know your own friend better than you do. Frightening, isn't it, that you can't trust a web site to read someone's mind for you? What is this world coming to?

Anyway, it's like this: our quiz scored you in the "maybe, maybe not" zone. That means you might have a friend who gives off mixed signals, or maybe one who just doesn't really give off any signals either way. Since neither you nor we seem to be able to decipher your friend's feelings, this all kinda falls back in your lap. As in: why do you want to know?

Is it because you have more-than-friends feelings and you're not sure what to do about that? If you want a clearer answer, you could try making a move, and see how your friend reacts. Either way, good luck! We hope it works out exactly how you want it to.

wala lang magawa kaya tinake q yang mga yan. Try nyo na rin kung gusto niyo.

Let's dance! Let's Rock!

2007-08-15T22:13:00.001+09:00

Create Your Own PaloozaHead
Visit Lollapalooza.com

I LOVE THIS ONE!!! THE BEST! XD
WOOOOAAAHHHH!!! BRAAVVOOO!

OMG, classes are suspended again bcoz of that damn storm.
Another sad day... :( aun.

I love the rain. Actually, I'd rather get wet than to use an umbrella. DO you know why?
bcoz I want to feel the Environment!!!
nyahaha what a stupid reason, but that's true.

anyway. Seasonal Affective Disorder is attacking me again. XD
that means, time to sleep! :D

Crazy Love

2007-08-08T14:55:00.000+09:00

Crazy Love by Kim Chiu

i hate the way you walk
hate the way you talk
hate the way you look at me
i hate the way you smile
hate your big brown eyes
'cause I know they're not for me

'cause we will never be
*more than friends
and it hurts me
everytime I close my eyes
all I see is you

Chorus:
and this crazy love,
crazy love..
oh this crazy love
crazy love

i hate thinking of you
'cause everytime I do
i just keep on missing you
i hate the way I feel
everytime you're near
'cause it feels like time is standing still

but we will nver be...(repeat *)

repeat chorus

i hate it when you're blue
and how I cared for you
i hate the way my heart desires
and I hate those sleepless nights
and the pain I kept inside
but I keep on pretending it's all right

but we can never be.. (repeat *)

repeat chorus

I don't know what to do
hate me for loving you
'cause I know it's wrong for me to say
i love you

~waa grabe talaga. mtagal ko nang gustong i-submit yang lyrics n yan sa mga search lyrics sites.. gusto ko kasi ako pinaka-unang magsusubmit!
PERO naunahan ako! AMF talaga. August 1 p lang may nag-submit na.

Dahil dun, dito ko na lang i-lalagay yung gawa ko. cguro may mali dito sa gawa ko, iba kasi eto s mga nakikita ko na sa internet.Pero feel ko mas tama sakin! XD

Bahala na kaung magsabi kng ano. Comment n lng kau pag may mali sa gawa ko.
Babush!

Biglaang Masidhing Damdamin

2007-07-16T18:24:00.000+09:00

Anong mararamdaman mo kung yung "once in a lifetime lang na mangyari na bagay sa buhay mo" ay nasa kamay mo na, pero bigla na lang pala itong mawawala? At eto pa, pano kung ang nagpakawala pa nun mula sa'yo ay ang taong inaakala mong susuporta sa'yo ng lubusan?

Haay, sigurado matinding kalungkutan ang mararamdaman ninyo, natin, diba?

Matinding kasiyahan ang aking naramdaman noong inanyayahan ako ng JPIA (Junior Philippine Institute of Accountants) [tama ba?] na sumali sa Mr. and Ms. Ambassador of Goodwill. Syempre naman nabigla ako kasi isang taong tulad ko na hindi naman ata ganun kaganda ay pinapasali?! haay... Sobra ang aking kasiyahan dahil may nakapansin ng aking kagandahan! nyahahaha! XD Syempre ako naman go na go kahit na alam ko naman na I'm not good in dancing and singing, or both pa! Alam ko lang drawing, coloring at acting(?). Pero kahit ganun nagtiwala ako sa sarili ko na kaya kong manalo.

Noong unang uwi ko sa bahay, sinabi ko sa mommy ko na kasali nga ako sa AOG (pati din ang maganda kong ate pinasali). Nagalak naman siya na ikinasaya ko naman.

Pero noong sumunod na sinabi ko na, bigla na lang bumaligtad ang lahat! [ang O.A.]

Kahapon lang, sinabi niya at ng ate ko na wag na daw akong sumali dahil gastos lang at walang kwenta yun. Ang tindi ng panghihinayang na naramdaman ko nun, kasi mommy ko pa ang nagsabing magback-out ako!

Pero syempre, tumugon na lang ako sa sinabi niya, kasi sayang nga naman ang pera. Tignan nyo, kailangan kong bumili ng 3 blouses na red, white, at kung ano gusto kong kulay para sa pictorial. Tapos kailangan pa daw ng cocktail dress or formal attire. Dami diba? Pede nga naman manghiram, pero naisip ko na rin na wag na lang. Sayang lang sa oras ko at dagdag importance pa yang mga bagay na yan. Tsaka mas madaming magagamit sa perang maaaring gamitin sa mga iyon. Pero ang totoo, gusto ko talagang sumali!!! Gustong-gusto T___T.. pero siguro, pag kinumpara ako dun sa ibang contestants, walang-wala ako... Sa pamilya ko pa nga lang ako na lagi ang pinapamukhang pinakawalang itsura saming magkakapatid, sa ibang lugar pa kaya? ayyy, ewan... Wala lang siguro talaga akong tiwala sa sarili ko, at naiinis ako sa katotohanang iyon.

haaaayyyyyy...

ayaw ko nang magtype... ang haba na...

basta pang finale, umiyak ako dahil dito.

Parating Mabagal at Pahuli-huli

2007-06-22T22:02:00.000+09:00

I don’t know if I should be glad or not in having an award given by my gay classmate, Julio, which is “best in being late” (I just made that connotation but I think that is also connected to his idea). He also awarded me with “most punctual” because whenever I’m not late, I just arrive in school on time. Oh diba?! Kasiya-siya nga ba ang pagkakaroon ng awards tulad nito o hindi?

Being like this doesn’t make me feel good. I’ve been late for my Algebra I for two times now, which is equivalent to one absent. Even in my history class and National Service, I also got late. Now I’m thinking of what is my classmates and teachers’ ideas about me? Is it more on the positive side or negative side? Ok, never mind coz I already know the answer. T___T Thinking of things like those just makes me stressful.

Waaa, what’s happening to me? I wanna CHANGE! Maybe, the best solution to get away from this problem is to sleep. Yes, sleepy na ako. babu.

Unang Araw sa Paaralan

2007-06-22T21:55:00.000+09:00

Yey, now is my 3rd week in APC. Aw, by the way, I forgot to update this one. Haha, I'm too lazy to write something here.

Ok, I'll just say something. I could say that I'm enjoying my stay in APC. I now have my group of friends.
I also like most of my classmates. Almost all of my classmates came from public schools and there are some who graduated from other science high schools (just like me). Haha, a great competition might ignite! Just kidding. This is gonna be great!

Oh, I almost forgot to say something about Korean students in our school. Oh they’re so cute! Kawaii!!! Having a Korean friend might be good, nyahaha!

Uhmmmm… Bye now, I can't say anything more.

13 signs

2007-05-10T20:04:00.000+09:00

When I finished reading that one,....

wala lang.. natapos ko lang~
wait, I'll read it again.. [emote emote]

i can say that those 13 signs are actually true for me. Of course, I did fell in love. hek hek! Dapat siguro hindi lang "13 signs you're falling in love" un, ung iba kasi dun pede kapag in-love ka na at kapag infatuated ka pa lang.

for # 13.. yeah that's true. xmpre if you like a person, you'll try hard not to be angry to him/her, because if you're going to show him/her your true self, then she/he will know that you're a demon in disguise [that's over-the-bakod ata],which is a total turn off! nothing will happen to both of you. [how sad] So, before you get angry, think not twice but a lot of times.

#12.. uhm, I like to do that. You know na! especially the kilig ones.
like: "mwah mwah mwah" and "sabay na tayong matulog"
oh, that's true right?! nyahaha! sabay na matulog para kunyari magkatabi sa kama! nyahaha LASWA! but that's really sweet. ;p
but now, I only read IMs to make me feel sleepy. Just like when I'm reading a book before going to sleep. Maybe, books and other readable objects are like some psychic Pokemons that have the move HYPNOSIS, [adik na ko sa Pokemon] which causes an enemy to sleep. [tama na nga to, nawawala na ko]

Haha, I experienced #11 before... I don't wanna talk about this...

#10 is true for those who has a crush on someone, not exactly when you're already falling in love. I'm always shy when I'm attracted to someone. But other people are not like me. Mas madami ata ung papansin sa crush nila. Xempre, para mapansin sila at baka sakali magkagusto din sa kanila.. edi masaya! Pero ako, shy muna pero pag naging close na kami kahit papano edi magiging papansin na rin ako! nyahaha! [joke only]

ung #9 parang unsure pa ko dun.. hindi ko naman nafe-feel yung heart ko na nagbe-beat faster and faster and faster and faster... alam ko nahe-hear lang. joke.
pero honestly, hindi ko talaga nafe-feel ung heart ko na nagbe-beat. I'm only feeling happy when I'm thinking about him..

for #8 ... I must not smile. Can I talk properly while smiling?! haller.

# 7 is true. BOW. but but but! that only works for partners who are not in an argument coz if they do, they would not actually want to see each other's face.

nyahaha, bakit nga ba pag in-love ang isang tao feeling nya lahat ng love songs tumatama sa kanya? db, tama naman tong #6? Marinig lang ang isang kanta na babagay sa state ng relationship nila nung araw na yun eh magugustuhan na niya kagad ang kanta. At baka sa sobrang emote at pagkahumaling nya sa kantang iyon ay magawa pa niyang idownload sa LIMEWIRE? grabe na ito.

yah, totoo tong #5. Haay, naalala ko tuloy, kahit na magtu-toothbrush lang ako naaalala ko siya. Pag ako'y haharap sa mirror, siya ang nasa loob ng aking isipan. Pag ako'y matutulog sa gabi, siya ang tumatakbo sa aking utak. At kapag ako'y nakatunganga... xempre siya nanaman! ano pa nga ba.. Marahil, pag-ibig na nga ito. [yak, pangit ng line na to]

ang #4 ay MALASWA.. let's jump to number 3.

nyahaha, nakakatuwa tong #3! naalala ko dati kapag natatawa, kinikilig or napapangiti ako nang sa sarili ko lang, napagkakamalan tuloy akong baliw ng mga friends ko. Nyahaha! ganyan talaga pag may crush ang isang tao o kaya naman kapag in-love.

sa #2 naman. Xempre, pag in-love ang isang tao, gagawin niya ang lahat para sa kanyang minamahal. Kahit na ito man ay magdudulot ng masakit o maginhawa sa kanya, ok pa rin siya. Even if it's against the law or not, he/she would still do it. Pero minsan masama rin ung "I'll do anything for you" thingy. Pag ba inutusan ka ng mahal mo na pumatay, papatay ka?!
Kapag sinabi niya sayo eto, "Kung talagang mahal mo nga ako, tumalon ka sa tuktok ng building!"
Gagawin mo ba?! ha? ano? aba ako hindi! Asa siya!

#1 had the greatest impact on me. Well, actually, SIYA ung nasa isip ko habang binabasa to.. haaayy.. PAST is past.

P.S:
~special thanks to She-ann's friendster profile. I got the pic from it. :)
~mwah mwah mwah! nyahaha!
~ate Lyra, comment ko sa friendster!

I miss you

2007-05-07T12:59:00.000+09:00

waa.. miss ko na mga friends ko!!! super, as in hanggang sa peak ng Mt. Everest!

I've written their names here:
~Miro - kamag-anak ata ni Patrick, kaboses kasi
~Sarah - kamukha ni Toni Gonzaga. naks naman! [joke yan ;p]
~Mon or "Yoochun" - ang madaldal kong friend [pag dinaldal mo lang tska xa dadaldal]
~Roselle or "Rosy" - isa ding madaldal... o__O
~Arabelle - mahilig mag-joke ng corny. natatawa ako sa kacornyhan nya.
~Guia -hindi nawawalan ng kwento, ndi ka mababagot. nakakatawa rin.
~Faye - seryoso at palatawa at the same time.
~Hazel - nakakatawa din, mana kay Arabelle.

When will we ever meet again? *sob*

wala nga palang load Smart at Sun ko. wala lang.

I hope we could hang out this week. Excited na akong pumunta tau na complete sa Star City! yahoo! Gusto ko sana sa EK, pero too expensive. kuripot pa naman ako. There are many things that I wanna buy and many places that I wanna visit, that's why I must be really careful in spending my money. naku, mahirap na pag nagamit ko ang pera ko sa wala palang kwentang bagay. Pero xempre mhalaga ung pagpunta sa Star City! Sorry nga pla kung hindi ko pa napaplano kung kelan tau lalakad, I'm so busy kc. Maybe I would be able to plan it this week.

***

matatapos na pala swimming lessons ko ngayon mamayang 5:00... waaaa! mamimiss ko coach ko tsaka mga classmates na rin. Xempre hindi mawawala sa mga mamimiss ko ung swimming pool na kung saan kami nagle-lesson. It's located at Merville Country club. sana makabalik ako ulit dun. T__T

Marunong na akong:
1. tumalon sa 10 ft nang hindi nalulunod! oh ha?
2. mag-doggy paddle! dun ako veteran.
3. mag-freestyle, butterfly, and mag-backstroke. freestyle malapit ko nang maperfect, ung backstroke correct hand movement na lang maaayos ko na, tapos ung butterfly naman kailangan pa ng maraming practice.

ayun. :)

So, meaning taekwondo na lang hanggang June. masaya pa rin naman pala... pala?
Kainis nga lang kc sa age kong ito, yellow belter pa lang ako.

WAAA!

nakakahiya talaga, mga 13 yrs. old & below mga classmate ko dun. o___O
ako naman, turning seventeeeeeeeeen!!! T___T
magha-HS lang sila eh ako magco-college!!!! waaaa, bisyo na to!

but it's ok, mas isip bata naman ata ako sa kanila. nyahaha!
Haay, sana I continued it noong 12 yrs old pa lang ako. siguro, BLACK BELTER na ako ngayon? oh db?! nyahahaha!

grabe naman kasi, after 5 yrs tska kmi pinagaral ulit ng taekwondo.
ayan tuloy ang mga bones ko marupok na, hindi na ako makapag-split! mababa na rin ang aking stamina. T__T
Ganyan talaga pag tumatanda.... lalong gumaganda... nyahaha! [connection?]

***

Bad Goodbye

2007-04-02T12:47:00.000+09:00

A word was never spoken
to cut the story short
explanations were needed
but nothing were told
A wave was not given
to a seeking eye of mine
your heart was insensate
to hear these cries
an awaited "I love you"
was never heard indeed
For you to live in grief, too
is what I certainly wish

That poem [w/o rhyme, meter, & whatsoever] just popped out from nowhere when I'm alone reading 'Pride and Prejudice'. [kailangan pa bang isulat un?!]
I don't know exactly how to describe that poem. Pero siguro, hinalo-halo ko na dun ang emotions ng love, confusion and hate. Parang sardinas.

In fact, that's what my heart really wants to say or ask YOU. I know you're smart enough to understand my simple poem so I don't need to explain further.
But the problem is, would you even mind to visit this blog and then to read this article up to the end?
And would you let your ~~fucked up~~ senses function as you read this?

I BET YOU WON'T.

my HS grad

2007-03-30T17:51:00.000+09:00

March 29, 2007 - a very unforgettable date. why? graduation day ko yan eh.

grabe.ayan ah, i'll write first what made me happy that day:
1. i saw my friends
2. i saw Anjo Yllana. hindi ko alam kung bakit ako kinilig. o__O
3. i could easily see my crush/es from my seat. nyahaha
4. xempre, graduate na ako.
at last, nakawala na ako sa ParSci. good luck na lang sa mga ga-graduate pa lang!

next, reasons why I felt sad/irritated that day:
1. 'cause I will not be able to see my friends everyday
2. 'cause I was not able to tell my crush/es that I like them. [hindi ko na-picturan si Manuel!] ~hagulgol~
3. because I'll miss my friends, schoolmates, teachers, and school
4. dahil masakit ang paa ko dahil sa shoes ko [may takong ba naman?]
5. dahil sa sinira ng ~~emcee~~ ang grad nmin. ang galing galing talaga niya noh?! napaka-fluent! MIRINDE! ~~amf~~ [shh, quiet!]
5. at xempre kc graduate na ako... waaaa!
awwch talaga. tears, pls. flow.
asar nga eh, for a while lang ako umiyak. dapat diba umiyak!? haay, cguro iiyak din ako sooner or later..

aun.. alam kong mamimiss ko ang paglalaro ng audition at O2 Jam with my friends sa Netaphor.
sana maulit muli.

nalipasan nga pala ako ng gutom. grabe tindi, 12:30 PM - 4:30 PM ata ung grad namin. hindi pa naman ako nagtanghalian. kumusta naman un db? aun. buti na lang nakayanan ko ang antok at gutom.

nais ko lang sabihin na idol ko nung araw na un si Golez. i loved his message coz i learned many things from it. Sa kanya lang talaga ata ako nakinig eh. [or maybe bcoz I'm not yet sleepy that time?!...ewan] o__O

aun, wala nang masabi..

yey!

2006-11-08T22:35:00.000+09:00

After a very long time, my dad's already home! [i know i did miss him] D p nga ako umattend ng meeting ng beloved kong group s speech choir, ang "Red Olympians"! *amfofo*

Hmm, our dismissal time is 4:30, kya un todo mdli nmn aq, kc susunduin dw nmin sya s airport. Then, i arrived at last [mga 5:00 n un],but i saw my father's belongings already inside our house. Nagmadali p aq..
aun, gnun p rin, mga pagkain nkakalat.. eto naman ako, LAMON, amfofo, anong mggwa ko? sarap eh.. binigyan p q ng strawberry n prng potchi ng lil sis q n c Eana [pro ndi potchi ah, <_<]. mssbi ko lang, baboy ako..buti n lng ndi p ako lumolobo.

*** knina nga pla, may on the spot contest.. panalo Black Spartans, ang astig ng grup niHazel. congrats ulit! [@hazel: sori ndi q na-flood ung tag mo, sori tlga XD] aun..ayw ko nga pla ng representatives nmin dun, ewan q b. ayw ko eh. haay, gud luck n lng nxt tym. kaya ntin to!

Haay, grbe knina, nka2asar, d q npnood ung on the spot, pno b nmn kc, s LRC (Learning Center) ginanap. eh pang SAMPUNG tao lang un ah? amfofo.. syng nmn, 1st tym q ndi mkpnood nun, tpos ngyong 4th year pa.. tsk2..

***about dun s LRC.. ndi ko lubos maisip kng bkit ang Learning Center ng ParSci ay LRC for short?! ano un - LeaRning Center? o__O

*** hm, i remembered, we took a free entrance exam for APC (Asia Pacific College) at 10 AM in our school mismo. APCAT p nga un eh. nag-joke p nga ung nagbbntay smin [c Ms. Heidi] na ndi daw un UPCAT. grbe saya..
free. free. free. simutin ntin ang FREEE.. aun, 77 items, but i can't say that it was an easy test. it was harder compared to USTE. aun, ms. heidi told us many things about the beauty of APC campus. GRBE GANDA! ini-imagine ko p lng gs2 ko n kagad dun.. haay, sayang nga lng ndi. swerte ng sis q, dun xa magaaral. kainggit..haaay..

until here. ty for reading.. Good Day!